Monday nights are my Busy Nights. Balance the books, do the laundry, update the website, etc. So last Monday when I got The Dreaded Phone Call about an elderly person in my life and had to deal with life and death decisions, it threw me off my game, thus my late post last week. I\u2019m still dealing with that whirlwind, but more than one of my writer friends have advised me to write about my grief.<\/p>\n
Believe me, I will.<\/p>\n
I know many people who deal with Life\u2019s hurdles in silence. They don\u2019t reach out to others for support or, gods forbid, assistance. That ain\u2019t me. I try not to do it a lot, but my trusted support network is phenomenal. (You know who you are.) When I talk to a friend about a worry or a concern, it\u2019s like I\u2019m talking to myself as well, feeling my way through the issue toward some sort of resolution.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the same when I write. I\u2019ve mentioned before that my spirituality and my quest for meaning often shows up in my stories. So does my grief for lost loved ones, or questions on ethical and moral dilemmas, or attempts to determine where I stand on social issues. If I can put a character into a similar situation, their process of navigating the problem helps me see solutions I might have missed otherwise.<\/p>\n
Maybe that\u2019s why I am so interested in writing a trans character, or one from a country I know little about, or one from an impoverished setting. I strive to live in a loving, compassionate way, and to extend those courtesies to the people around me. It pains me when I find I have done or said something hurtful to another, so I seek to understand life experiences that differ from my own, in an effort to avoid that risk. Writing about them in a respectful way requires me to learn as much as I can about the characters, and thus understanding grows. Right?<\/p>\n
My loss is still too fresh to be a story yet, but it\u2019s waiting its turn. Already I feel the pieces of it floating in my head and my heart, and when they find the best combination and the most effective setting, the story will almost write itself. I can wait. The end of a human life brings much busywork for those who are left behind, tasks that offer at the same time a welcome distraction from the grief and a daily reminder of the loss. I undertake it because I must, but I am making mental notes. For the story that will come.<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Monday nights are my Busy Nights. Balance the books, do the laundry, update the website, etc. So last Monday when I got The Dreaded Phone Call about an elderly person in my life and had to deal with life and death decisions, it threw me off my game, thus my late post last week. I\u2019m…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8n0kX-7z","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":228,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2017\/06\/26\/time-is-a-four-letter-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":0},"title":"Time is a Four-Letter Word","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"June 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I know. I\u2019ve written about time before. I probably will write about it again. It\u2019s that important. Writing takes time \u2013 between day-job and daily commute, between cooking\/eating\/showering\/sleeping, between family and friends and home maintenance, there\u2019s blogging, reviewing, researching, brainstorming, writing and editing and rewriting. That was the point of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":620,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/08\/story-endings\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":1},"title":"Story Endings","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"March 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Writers know that the first few lines in a short story or novel are crucial. 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We spend a great deal of time getting the beginning just right, sometimes going\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/SmudgeEndings-263x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1125,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/29\/for-love-or-money-fueling-the-creative-fire\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":2},"title":"For Love or Money: Fueling the Creative Fire","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"October 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I was looking over some writing tips on other people's blogs today when I came across a tip I've seen elsewhere, too: Don't try to write what you think will sell. Write what you want to read. Write what moves you. Write to understand the world around you. These words\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/electrocardiogram-2858693_1280.png?fit=1200%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/electrocardiogram-2858693_1280.png?fit=1200%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/electrocardiogram-2858693_1280.png?fit=1200%2C600&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/electrocardiogram-2858693_1280.png?fit=1200%2C600&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/electrocardiogram-2858693_1280.png?fit=1200%2C600&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":297,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2017\/08\/21\/whats-in-a-number\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":3},"title":"What\u2019s In a Number?","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"August 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night I finished the book I was reading (The Moon and the Other, see Reviews page), and started N.K. Jemisin\u2019s Fifth Season for the second time, so I can review it here. I loved it the first time, got so lost in it that I forgot to watch for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":517,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2017\/12\/26\/greetings-from-slumpy-hollow-slumptavia\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":4},"title":"Greetings from Slumpy Hollow, Slumptavia","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"December 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"So it\u2019s been several weeks since I\u2019ve touched my novel to any significant degree. Weeks. Maybe more than a month. I\u2019m beside myself. I\u2019ve tweaked and revised several short stories, spent time researching markets where I might submit them, attended several classes, re-sent book 1 of my novel series to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":647,"url":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/26\/sound-the-retreat\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":5},"title":"Sound the Retreat!","author":"DremaDeoraich","date":"March 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"One of my biggest hurdles to meeting a daily word count is diversion. We live in an apartment complex in a populous neighborhood in a busy city. Outside our window is a lovely green space with hollies, crape myrtles and squirrels. A bazillion birds, along with dragonflies and butterflies, flit\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog Posts"","block_context":{"text":"Blog Posts","link":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/category\/blog-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/HeatherAndJamie-145x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=469"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":470,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions\/470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dremadeoraich.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}